Stresstab2: Our Own Goals

Realistic goal setting is sometimes difficult when bosses, friends and other well-wishers offer ample advice about what would be best for us. It is important for us to decide on our own goals since pursuing a business or personal goal defined by someone else creates problems. As difficult as it sometimes is, we need to analyze our own abilities and interests and pursue a course toward them even though they might not carry as much social prestige and financial security as pursuits suggested by others. Much wasted time can lapse when we take classes to become a medical doctor while knowing our abilities in math and chemistry are not very strong. Hard work does not guarantee success and happiness. Once we select the goal, we should pre-experience the attaining of that goal in our mind. Visualizing how we will go about obtaining the goal increases the probability of actually reaching it. Successful athletes pre-experience over and over again in their minds how they are going to function in the game so as to be at their peak effectiveness once the game begins. One mistake we make in seeking a goal is focusing so much on reaching the goal that we fail to enjoy the process of getting to it. If we find satisfaction in our immediate efforts rather than thinking how nice it's going to be when we finally arrive at that distant goal, we enjoy life more. For example, we enjoy a trip more if we decide to take an interest in the landmarks along the way or in talking with the other travelers rather than just enduring the ride until arriving at the anticipated destination. If we set the goal to finish as soon as possible to get into the "real world," we will probably suffer through a lot of boring time. Easily obtainable short-range goals should be established as well as long-range goals. These short-range goals give us a chance to reach levels of accomplishment along the way and provide us an opportunity to feel good about small amounts of progress. We can be more at peace with ourselves at the end of the day if we think about what we have completed rather than about the things we have not done. A final word or two about goals is worth remembering. Stress can also come by not having goals as well as setting unrealistic ones. Constant restlessness is a frequent symptom of someone who has chosen not to decide on some goals for the present. Stress is also evident when we set so many goals that it is impossible to reach them. This "superman urge" should be carefully monitored since it can easily lead to feeling overwhelmed by all the things we think we should be doing.