Stresstab8: Resolving Anger

When our stressful feelings include anger, it is best to resolve these feelings as soon as possible. The holding in of anger and hostility puts a great stress on the body, which may be converted into psychosomatic symptoms like headaches, ulcers, and gastrointestinal problems. Anger turned inward can also lead to depression.

Anger can be dealt with by going directly to the person we are in disagreement with and trying to settle our differences before getting other people involved. We need to give in occasionally rather than always having to be right. The use of the phrase "perhaps you are right" will help us do this. Sometimes we feel a need to correct someone if he has an incorrect understanding about something. We should temper this tendency and ask ourselves "Does it really matter in the long run?" and "Will it do more damage than good for me to show him he is wrong?" Learning to laugh at ourselves and to smile more can also counteract anger. It is difficult to remain angry when we smile. This seems to be true whether our smile is spontaneous or forced. Just thirty seconds of a continuous smile can begin to melt away angry feelings. Hard physical work is another way to reduce anger.

One more way to reduce the feeling of anger is to thank others for what they have done. This can include thanking people for opening doors, for serving us at a cash register, for smiling and being friendly, for fixing our food, and for teaching a good lesson. We must always be thankful for the blessings of eyesight, health, parents, the air we breathe, and freedom. Letters of appreciation can be written to people who have done things for us in the past. It is almost impossible to remain angry while continually thanking someone for something.

Two other guidelines are very useful in resolving anger. The first is to ask forgiveness from others whom we have offended. The second is to do things for others. Such action brings about good feelings for ourselves and others. Doing something for someone we are upset with is particularly effective in reducing anger.